Folks, one thing for sure that you can’t avoid is a nice cup of coffee. And coffee shops are frothing at every corner of city to sate your illicit crave- a good indicator that the middle-class fever is here. Yet, to paraphrase one commercial, coffee is not just coffee … so wake up and smell the location and shop.
Once upon a time, city folks met over mixed tea served with mandazi or chapatti. The tea came in metal cups that were corroded on the rims leaving a black strip that collected all manner of pathogens. Then #Java sauntered to town like a prince wowing city folks for they had never seen anything so elegant, so refined, like this. It was king of city coffee… till…till #Artcaffe happened.
This is not to say that the Java Cup is no longer bewitching!
It is.
The only difference is that Artecaffe strut to town like a seductive exotic beauty of the orient. She oozed style and finesse. Charming her way to customer’s hearts. We were awed. We fell for her!
But, lest we forget, Artecafe, like all babes who know got seductive power, was accused of arrogance, an attitude that almost brought her sashing gown down. She was humbled. She learnt respect is king. Today service here is fairly fast and gracious, although once in a while the waitresses are drab and sluggish as if they are serfs in a Saudi’s aristocratic palace.
Racism at Artcaffe
But lest we forget, racism still reigns as strong in Artcaffe as it does in most of the high end coffee shops in town, albeit latent. When you are black, it will take longer for those hopeless waiters and waitresses to spot and serve you as opposed to the white. Their attitude too is wanting and, I think, in all their ignorance and stupidity, they believe blacks are still struggling financially. Well, not all. And not for a cup of coffee. Hallo, the sooner these owners realise this, perhaps the better for their business. We have money. We have worked for it , (sometimes we have conned our parents, our serial boyfriends, sugars, government and employers). But the bottom-line is that we have disposable income.
Well, since we have settled for less, and as black consumers have accepted to be treated like second class citizens, best designed may for gardeners and white only suburbs, let’s move on. My favourite outdoorsy feel of the two the Artcaffe Junction. Artcaffe has also outdone itself with the branch at Yaya. It’s tantalizing for evenings. The set up here makes you feel like you are in an airport travelling. So if you didn’t travel, just check into Yaya, order a cuppa, relax and devour your latest TIME or Economist.
Good thing, the crowd is mature like wine, (well, wine is also aplenty here) and you will hardly see some teenage-like behaviors of self-snapping nor will you hear spasms of irritating whimpers, chuckles or giggles. Rather, the gush of the espresso, the tinkling of the cutler, and the whisper of patrons is the elegy here for patrons.
The Artcaffee Yaya is symbolic. Its location at the centre of the mall comes along as the altar of capitalism. Small wonder the crowd here looks like money, smells like money and behaves like money.
Let’s move on. The newly-opened Java Hurligham is equally fascinating what with the expansive exterior. You get a feel of being at the park. Trouble with the Hurlingam post is parking which is nauseatingly limited. Java Junction is more of a cliché, I’d rather avoid it as you would the Dormans next to Nakumatt Junction. This shop, also owned by the Artcaffee, has the most hopeless of lattes I have ever tasted.
In town, I avoid Kaldis like a plague. I find it so crappy and noisy like Matatu’s plying route 8. If you are in town and desperate for a cuppa, I suggest Java Koinange it’s spacious and fairly calm. Oh wait, opposite Kaldis there is a Java, thank God! The only challenge here is that there is no wifi. I wonder why Java is so mean with this tool, which is, ideally, a public good.
On Lenana Road, Kilimani be sure to give Urban a shot. This shop opposite CVS plaza oozes business class. Be warned though – here love is made and burnt with equal vim. Their wifi though is slow. That is why you better drive all the way to the Oval in Westlands. Again, here Artecaffe has one of the most brilliant, most seductive of coffee shops. Be sure to be seated outside and watch the hypnotic marvel as daylight hug and kiss the mythical occident. Do all these as you savor your latte or cappuccino (a witty lass calls it cup china). The beauty of the oval is that it is less noisy and parking galore. But the body searches, wah!
Lavington Mall hosts the coolest of Artecaffee…and here, love brews over a cup. Trust me – (till its burns in another shop). The interior is classy the exterior mystical.
If you are in South C, take a break from Javas, pop into the Boma. Red velvet sofa seats, and the thick floor carpet just fires your senses as you sip your latte.
Java Mara and Upper Hill? Reminds me of The Hague, dreariest of cities I have ever visited. Service is slow, and the waiters and waitresses a bit indifferent. I stopped doing Savanna for obvious reason: poor services, slow, cold and lackluster staff.
Forget the jungle, on Langata Road pop in at Galeria. Both Java and Artecafe here are almost at par, but in Karen, well Artecaffe is cool, though, hmmm, the pancakes, God forbid. Java has the best of pancakes, methinks.
Well, I don’t know so much about coffee shops east of Moi Avenue, though, hey wait a minute, try TRM. The java at the ground floor is open and airy. Artcaffe is tucked somewhere on the floors too. Here, the emerging mid-class of Nairobi’s Orient is outdoing each other especially on weekends grabbing coffee over tittle-tattle.